Am I wrong to be upset that my 71-year-old mother spent money on a trip instead of helping me with my bills?

I reread the message on my phone at least ten times. Was she serious? She had spent her whole life providing me with “everything I needed,” so why was I struggling now? Honestly, I felt abandoned, betrayed, and hurt.

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I started typing a passionate response, but I stopped myself. I decided to speak to her in person. Maybe she didn’t realize just how tough things were for me.

I called her.

“Mum, I don’t think you understand,” I said when she picked up. “I’m drowning here, and you’re living like a queen.”

She sighed on the other end of the line. “I understand, darling. Please understand that this is my time now. I’ve spent decades worrying about you, about work and bills. I gave up my dreams so you could have opportunities I never had.”

I scoffed. “What’s the point of all those opportunities if I’m still struggling?”

She spoke softly after a pause. “Tell me, darling. What do you need?”

I hesitated. “I don’t know. Help with credit card debt, rent, maybe car payments. A little relief.”

My mum sighed again. “I’ll be honest. I love you more than anything, but money won’t fix this. You need to figure out how you got here.”

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That stung. “So you’re saying it’s my fault?”

“No, it’s your responsibility.”

It took me a moment to respond. My fingers clenched around the phone as I fought to control my anger.

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She continued. “You’re not young anymore. You have a good job, right?”

“Yes, but it barely covers everything.”

“And what about managing your budget? Have you looked at your spending?”

I stayed silent because, truth be told, I hadn’t. I knew I was spending too much, but I didn’t want to admit it. I was living paycheck to paycheck, swiping my card whenever I needed something, hoping everything would somehow work out.

Mum said gently, “Listen, I didn’t raise you to be helpless. I know it’s hard, but you can get through this. I’ll always be here if you need more than just a temporary solution. I want to help you in the long term.”

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“Like what?” I asked, skeptical.

“First, I can sit down with you to review your finances. Maybe help you manage your budget and cut down on unnecessary spending. I can also recommend a financial advisor.”

A humorless laugh escaped me. “No easy money?”

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